How the Binch Stole Freedom by GB Michels -------------------------------------- Every Yoo Down in Yoosay Liked Freedom a lot... But the Binch, Who lived Mid-East of Yoosay Did NOT! The Binch hated Freedom! The whole Freedom concept Now, please don't ask why or what started the onset. It could be that his sandals didn't fit him just right It could be too much sand in his shorts was his plight But I think that the most likely reason of all May have been that his turban was three sizes too small But, whatever the reason, His turban or sand, He sat on Afghani rocks, hating the land, Staring out from his cave with a scowl so rotten At the red white and blue wave and mock the Binch Laden. And he knew every Yoo o'er in Yoosay that day Was exercising their rights to do whatever they may. "And they're free to assemble!" he snarled and sneered "To speak and to pray to whomever will hear!" Then he growled so fierce that his mouth started drooling, "I MUST find a way to keep Freedom from ruling!" For, the future, he knew.... ...All the Yoo blacks and Yoo whites Would all join in together in days and in nights And stand by their rights! Oh, their Rights! Rights! Rights! Rights! That's one thing he hated! Their Rights! Rights! Rights! Rights! Then the Yoos, young and old, would go out to the shops And they'd shop! And they'd shop! And they'd Shop! Shop! Shop! Shop! They would start at the stores and move on to the mall Which was something Binch Laden despised most of all! And THEN They'd do something he hated the most Every Yoo down in Yoosay, from each coast to coast Would stand close together, with fireworks screaming They'd tip off their hats and the Yoos would start singing! They'd sing! And they'd sing! AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING! And the more the Binch thought of their national anthem More he thought, "There's naught that Satan won't grant them! "Why, for hundreds of years they've had more than allowed I MUST keep freedom from ringing! ....But HOW?!!" Then he got an idea! An awful idea The Binch GOT A TWISTED, AWFUL IDEA! "I know what to do!" The Binch planned and conspired He made a few bombs with explosives and wires And he worked with his henchmen, "What a dastardly plan! I could kill up to thousands with the work of one man!" All I need is a martyr...." The Binch looked around But since folks like to live, most looked to the ground. Did that stop the old Binch...? No! The Binch simply said, "If I can't find a martyr, I'll make one instead!" So he told all his people that Allah has said it's a salvation thing to make all the Yoos dead! THEN They loaded their bags and some box-cutting knives And boarded a plane with many innocent lives Then the plan was a go and the planes hit the sky toward the places the Yoos Use to defend and buy Half the place was asleep in the still autumn air All the Yoos were in bed or still brushing their hair Some Yoos were at work and some yoos on their way And some just stayed home who were off for the day Then suddenly in the still air without warning Explosions of metal and glass filled the morning The loss and the tragic developments lay in rubble and blood of the Yoos in the fray. Then much like a snake or a skunk underground Binch Laden, the killer, was nowhere to be found The Yoos who survived had readied their lynches Ready to begin hanging these "sons" of Binch's And the Binch ever-curious had wanted to see, what had the rest of the Yoos all glued to TV He expected to see people panicked and pained A little dashed hope and a lot of disdain On the TV he didn't see his plan brew, He saw little Double-Yoo-Yoo, or Yoo-Yoo the 2 The Binch had been fingered by Yoosay's fearless leader the time was quickly running out on his meter! Through the TV the leader said "These attacks are an act of war and we intend to fight back! "An assault on the Yoos is an assault on the Free" But the Binch paid no mind "That's no threat to me!" The Binch eagerly waited his holy reward Insulted that grace didn't come by his own accord He wanted the rubble, the tears and the pain And hoped that more Yoo rights would go down the drain He waited and hoped and then hoped and he waited But strangly enough, he was not satiated "I'll bide my time, The world must still be in shock "I expected a frenzy- not a solid old rock! "Pooh-pooh to the Yoos!" he bemusedly fawned, "They're going to soon see their precious freedoms are gone! "They'll loose all their guns and their homes and their cars "They'll eat with the pigs and they'll lose their cigars!" He gleefully thought of a gridlocked Yoosay with nowhere to work and no safe place to play "They're finding out now that their freedom was folly "They're just waking up!" He drooled like a collie. "Their mouths will be silent their freedoms taboo "The all the Yoos o'er in Yoosay will all cry BOO-HOO!" "That's a noise," grinned the Binch, "That I simply must hear!" So he paused. And the Binch put a hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising up o'er the din. He heard it begin. Then it sounded like sin!... The sound wasn't maudlin! Why, this sound sounded strong! It couldn't be so! Both weak and strong sang along! He stared at the Yoos! The Binch popped his eyes! Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise! Every Yoo o'er in Yoosay, the tall and the short, Was singing their anthem! Without televised sports! He HADN'T stopped freedom or the rights of the Yoos! They're free! Somehow or other, they're free, despite me! And the Binch, with his Binch-feet red hot in the sand, Stood puzzling and puzzling: "What's up with this land? It's not in the towers! Or safety in flying! "It's not in the pain of the people who're dying! " And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore. Then the Binch thought of something he hadn't before! "Maybe freedom" he thought, "doesn't come from a store. "Maybe freedom and rights mean a little bit more!" And what happened then...? Well...in Yoosay they say That the Binch's small cave became a crater that day. And the minute his heart had stopped feeling delight, Yoosay indeed struck by the dawn's early light! Patriots came falling out of the sky The Binch began feeling like camel dung pie "Freedom!" He cried! Thinking he'd delivered a blow, But he, ...HE HIMSELF...! The Binch underestimated his foe.!